Thing T.

Shockingly effective at lighting up the place. Hire someone with a steady grip and high pain tolerance! ⚡️

Hate interacting with the living? Let me handle the torture while you stay home. 🛍️

I know a thing or two about stitching parts together. Anything from a bookshelf to your final resting place. 🪑

When you need screws tight and sanity intact. I wield a hammer with a steady grip and always find the studs. After all, it takes one to know one. 😉

Your helping hand when you’re feeling fragile. With unsettling upper body strength and a talent for discretion, I’ll haul your boxes or furniture, no questions asked. 📦

I’ll paint anything black — wall, furniture or your future. My favorite hues are Midnight Despair or Soul-Crushing Coal. Take your pick! 🫟

Did you try to flush evidence? Leave the dirty work to a true professional fixer. 🚽

I put the horror in horticultural. From trimming, to clipping, to sawing, I bring all my own weapons—I mean, tools… just point me in the general direction and look away. ✂️